Last Resorts
by Angelica1
Summary: Suicide, and LOTS of crap. Pretty good. You don't review...AVADA KEDVRA!


Authors Note: I was really depressed when I wrote this...er...it makes no sense, but who cares about that anyway? Michelle (the author's friends note) : Evil Laugh Jessica (that would be the author or as you know Angelica)....Jessica doens't know I'm sending this to her friend to post....Evil Laugh....so I hope you enjoy. Don't send her hate mail or whatever...she's depressed right now...sob, sniffle, sob...she wrote this a while ago...like er...third book? Anyway this is long enough for my insantity...if you want to talk to me....mumbles something to self and flicks off computer...you can email me at [tempesta55@juno.com][1].....or IM me on Tempesta55....I love you all!!!!!!!! waves hand and blows kisses Disclaimer::::Everyone minus Indigo belongs to J.K Rowlings....Jessica does not wished to be sued because, as I live over here I know she doesn't want to waste money on some sh*t like....er...being sued for writting something....Ahhhh....nevermind...umm...here so....GO JESSIE!!!!!! 

Last Resorts

Violet eyes, perfect ivory skin, long, flowing black hair and a striking figure. Most men would find me irresistable, but not the one that mattered. Not the one I longed for. Not the one my heart ached for. Not the one I loved. My name is Katrina Jameson. My friends call me Indigo for short because, of my eyes. Everyone said I was going to be a great witch someday. I got excellent marks, it runs in my family and I must say I even look the part. Perfectionist to the core is exactly who I am. Perhaps the only thing I regret was being put in Slytherin. It had been the family house for eons, every Jameson blood went there and I duefully regret not being the exception. That night, during the sorting, I wanted nothing more then to please my parents and continue the time honored tradition of being placed in Slazar Slytherin's house. How quickly things change. No one not even my sister Courtney knew of my displeasure though it would hardly matter. My family or the only ones I was in contact with were to self involved or to arrogant to see something was wrong. My mother was in middle-age depression and hardly noticed a thing around her. My father was to obsessed with his job to care about much else. My sister Courtney's only thoughts were for her boyfriend Jeff. My eldest sibling, Kaleb was a father now and would never concern himself with his "baby sister's" worries. I worried often. I wondered and worried if my family knew I was regreating the tradition. I worried what would happen to me after school was over? I wondered if I'd even make it out of school. At this very moment I am looking out the windows of the Astrology tower. Watching the rain fall. The bright bolts of lighting. Hearing the distant crack of thunder in the distance. I loved it up here. The silence. I could think. I was free to feel and to do whatever I pleased. It was wonderful. Something diverted my attention. The door behind me was opening. I stood there frozen. If it was Mr.Flich the Hogwarts caretaker I was in for it. Students were not supposed to be up at these hours much less up and about around the school. It wasn't Flich thank the heavens, but it was someone much worse. Severus Snape... Severus's family and mine had been friends as long as my family had been Slytherins. In other words...forever. There he stood. Thin black eyes looking like a snake's never leaving me face, tight lipped mouth which rarely smiled, crooked nose looking as it always did and greasy hair plastered to his scalp. He was not the person I was most anxious to see at the moment. "Katrina," he began and I knew this would become a droaning leacture on why I wasn't supposed to be out of bed, how I could prevent Slytherin from losing the House Cup and how displeased my parents would be at my behavior. Three subjects I could care less about, "Why are you up here?" "What no leacture Severus? Your losing your touch," I replied smartly. Why did he think it was his business to know where I was, why I was there and what I was doing? "Oh there will be a leacture, Katrina. A nice long one, but my concern comes first. I will ask again...why are you up here?," he said arrogantly. His face did not express concern nor did his voice. "Why must I answer you? You hold no power on me," I snarled. How dare he lie to me? How dare he say he's concerned when all he cares about is himself? "Do not make me ask a third time," his voice as sing-song as ever. Now instead of by the door he was standing next to me his eyes looking out at the storm. "Before I answer tell me why I must," I said arrogantly. I couldn't believe it. He was smiling. "You honestly don't know do you?," he asked. I glared at him. What in the world was he talking about? "What? Know what?," I begged. His thin smiled widened showing me paled yellow teeth. His eyes glittered violently when the lighting struck. "My dear does a future husband have to declare his open hearted concern to his future wife?," his words replayed in my head. I couldn't understand. Future husband? Future wife? What was this boy thinking? "Severus I am afraid I have no idea what your talking about," I confessed truthfully starting to worry. "Silly girl. Your smarter then that. You know exactly what I am talking about," he looked at me. "No I'm, I'm afraid I haven't the faintest idea, Severus. If your asking me to marry you...the answers no," I said turning my face from his. "Don't flatter yourself. I am not preposing anything," he began sharply, "If you really don't know I suppose it's time you found out. You and I have been betrothed since the day after you were born. As soon as school ends next month we will be wed." Those words cut like a thousand knives into my heart. I turned to look at him. His face showed nothing. It was blank. I could barely stand. When were they going to tell me? How could I get out of it? Then it hit me...I couldn't. As fast as my legs would allow I found myself running down the steps leading away from the Astrology tower. Away from Severus. Away from where my life had been torn to shreads. My friends would be no help to me now. I could not escape my fate. I knew I had one choice. I would be forced to marry someone I hated. Someone I could never feel for. Someone I could never love. No. I would not let it happen. Anything, but that could happen. I was running down the hall. Not caring who or what saw. Not caring if I got in trouble or if I got expelled. Nothing mattered now. I had the answer with me. An unforgiveable. Yes, an unforgiveable. I ran until I reached the entrance hall. I opened the doors as quietly as possible and shut them softly as soon as I was outside. I steped into the icy sheets of rain falling from the sky. It would be the last time I felt their chill. The last time I would ever see the small rainbows nesteled in their drops. I procceeded, soaked, across the grounds to the lake. As I sat down on the edge of the shallows, my mind drifted. In my seventeen years of life I had never exprienced love. My parents never loved me. My siblings didn't love me. My friends used me. I remebered what one of my so-called friends had told me once, "If you don't fall in love you can't get hurt." I know now how wrong she is. Love causes many emotions. Happy, sad, misery, elated...so many emotions from one little feeling. This isn't how it should end, those were my last thoughts. "Avada Kedavra," those were my last words. Death was my last resort. I died not knowing love. For you see love is reciprical not just one sided. I thought I was in love with someone who loved someone else. I loved James Potter. 

::::::If your reading this.....then you either hacked into my mail or your one of my friends and I let you into my warped little mind...OOOOORRRRRR......I became temporarily insane and posted it on fanfiction.net...in which case...I am sorry for infringing your mind with some depressive sh*t I wrote on a day it was raining and I was fighting with one of my friends about something stupid I can't even remember....AAAAHHHHHH.....well if you want to read on I am inclosing a poem....oh goodie...if this is posted on fanfiction.net...review and be nice...you never know if I get to depressed...SIKE...give me your honest opinion...reflects...damn that was long...:::::::::::: 

Optical Illusion 

Causing Such Confusion

An emotion? 

A feeling to be felt 

only by one as worthy as myself 

Life happens, it comes and goes

Intwines itself in peoples minds 

F*cking with their heads 

This emotion It is confusion 

and Illusion 

Wasn't that great?!?!?!?!?! 

Poster's Note: Ummmm…sorry if [tempesta55@juno.com][2] didn't want me posting the last part… I'm sorry. Just tell me. I think that this is an intresting PoV. Perhaps THAT'S why Snape is so bitter… tell the thoughts, mmkay… If you disagree(is that spelled correctly?) or agree, than REVIEW. If you have no comments, write: LOVED IT! (and that DOES NOT say hated, or sucked, okay!) 

LiEat at Joes!

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